Things I’ve Learned In 2018

Ohai, friend!

I’m Faren. You might know me. I’m a nerd. I have 2 cats, Cat Murdock and Jasper. I turned 30 this year (vomit). I have weird hair.

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Paramore’s my favorite band. I work at this neato place called Books & Brews. If I could have coffee coursing through my veins, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I speak in pop culture references. I’m a big Kingdom Hearts fan. I’m also a big ol’ weirdo.

This big ol’ weirdo has had quite a 2018. I’ve learned so much this year that I thought I’d dedicate a post to it. If I lose my way at all next year, point me to this post to kick my ass back into gear. Sometimes, I’m stubborn. Okay, I’m stubborn always. I won’t lie.

If anything, I hope you guys learn something from it as well. <3


10. You don’t actually need to be a published writer to feel like a person.

Shout out to Dumbledore–I mean, Jason Wuerfel for drilling this into my brain just this week. I needed it. Something that I was taking for granted is the #1 thing that makes me happy in this world and that’s writing. My words are important to me and help me process the millions of billions of thoughts that roll through my head constantly, but it doesn’t make them any less important if they aren’t published.

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9. You’re allowed to take as much time as you need to process your thoughts.

In a crowded room, at work, back in college, wherever–I have always thought that my lack of speaking in given situations was a weakness. I actually realized this year that this means I’m a really good listener and that’s ridiculously valuable.

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I do not like to enter conversations blind; I like to digest my thoughts and process them until I feel comfortable sharing them and that’s entirely okay. I know at times I’ll fumble and say dumb things, but that’s just me.

8. There is no such thing as wasting time or energy on someone. 

I don’t regret anything in my life. I can’t. Do you want to know why? At one time, I wanted that (insert past toxic friend/ event here) to be the center of my life.

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Every single second of your life you spent on that person, you chose that. Just because you don’t want it now does not mean you wasted your time.

Remember that.

7. Every mistake you make is a story for the future.

This is an extension of the last point. You’re allowed to laugh at your mistakes. Did you know you’re actually allowed to laugh as you’re making it? You’re human. Turn that mistake into a story. Write it down, even. The world deserves to hear it.

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6. You really honestly 100% do not need to buy more books at this point.

Oh my god. Please oh please read the books you own, Faren. Stop buying so many books you’re not going to read just because they have pretty covers.

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5. People with wounded egos will never change.

You can focus your kindness on them all you want. You can show them all of the love in the world. At the end of the day, the focus will always 100% be their fragile, wounded-as-hell egos. You don’t need those people in your life. They will just try to drag you down to their level.

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4. You’re allowed to be afraid to make difficult decisions, but don’t let them rule over your life. 

Do the hard thing. Push your boundaries. Get out of your comfort zone. Shave the side of your head. Get that piercing. Get a tattoo. Dye your hair every shade under the sun. Express yourself. Write poetry that only makes sense to you. Go to a Taylor Swift concert with your girlfriends and be the only punk rock chick there (I did that, lolz). Take a job that is nowhere near your field whatsoever. Carve out your life’s path for you and no one else.

Let your freak flag fly, you beautiful weirdo.

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3. You are a very special and talented person.

I have had a lot of time to embrace this. I’ve written some really depressing, but beautiful poems. I got further in my fiction novel. I’ve sang in a lot of various venues. I got better at playing guitar. I have used my Graphic Design skills. I’ve gotten a chance to make my mark with my creativity. Even if I don’t end up where 18 year old me thought I’d end up, it does not mean I’m a failure. It means I’m human and we don’t always end up where we thought we’d end up.

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2. My anxiety doesn’t own me.

This is always a work-in-progress.

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My anxiety accents my personality. My anxiety stands on my shoulders and sometimes tells me I’m not good enough. My anxiety will sneak into my brain and keep me awake at all hours even when I’m exhausted. My anxiety will sit on my chest and try to smother me. All of that being said, I have the key in the ignition and I can drive the other way because have control always.

1. Surround yourself with equally passionate weirdos and you’ll feel like you could rule the damn world.

Thank you B&B for showing me this. I’ll never forget it. I love my friends and my life more than I can possibly convey. I have really hard bad mental health days and they are always there to lean on. I have really intense good days and they don’t pull me back; they let me be me and that’s the best person I can possibly be.

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Let’s kill it next year, 2019. Let’s continue to live our best lives. We owe it to ourselves. <3

XOXO, Faren

2 thoughts on “Things I’ve Learned In 2018

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  1. I absolutely 100% disagree with #6. You always need more books and it’s perfectly acceptable to buy them simply bc you like the cover.

    Aside from this, I love this list 😀

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